Careful! Some of these may be a bit risqué but then that is the nature of the double entendre.
These have all been culled from British TV or radio. Got any others?
! But for now, enjoy...
BBC Business News Headline: Pfizer's Viagra faces stiff competition.
Long-forgotten cricket commentary: The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's
only come in his shorts."
KEN Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie
Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to
do it by himself."
MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance
JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had
a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel
on This Morning:
"She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v
Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
THE new stand at Doncaster race course took racing commentator Brough Scott's
"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for
a big race when he said:
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from
CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time
Team Live said:
"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
METRO Radio -
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on
HARRY Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 -
"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing
the Cox of the Oxford crew."
PAT Glenn- Weightlifting commentator -
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this
morning and it was amazing!"
Page last updated by turly Monday 1 September 2003.